In The Mix Who Will Lead Us?

In: In The Mix by philgallagher 0 Comments Thu 19th Aug '10

Tags: Labour , Liberal , Greens

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With the Australian national election only days away we are faced with the chance to decide our futures for better or worse. As always the case in Australian politics the leadership race is between the two major parties Liberal and Labour with the Greens alining themselves with the Labour party.

Know jack shit about politics and the fundamentals which the two major parties stand for, I have decided to review their power animals. What is a power animal you ask? It comes form the Shaman beliefs that everything in the world is alive, bearing an inherent virtue, power and wisdom. Our power animal represent our connection to all life, our qualities of character, our power.

Tony Abbott : Gecko
Geckos are small to average sized lizards belonging to the family Gekkonidae, found in warm climates throughout the world. Tony Lives in Australia, Manly (NSW) to be precise. In January this year Manly recorded a record temperature of 41 degrees. That's warm.

All geckos, have no eyelids and instead have a transparent membrane which they lick to clean. Tony loves to lick his lips when the press are up in his grill this is to harness the inner gecko to appear clean and transparent to the public.

Many gecko species will drop their tails in defense, a process called autotomy. Tony tends to drop a little bomb every now and then, which leaves the attacker (public) startled and confused while he sneaks off to safety.

Some species can change colour to blend in with their environment. Whether Tony is at the local swim meet at Manly in his dick togs or hanging tough with the miners in the red dust over in Kalgoorlie. Tony will change his appearance to fit any environment to not arose suspicion.

Some species are parthenogenic, which means the female is capable of reproducing without copulating with a male. It is widely thought Tony believes women should be at home making babies while the men run the country. With the capability to self reproduce, Tony's thoughts could be a reality.

Julia Gillard : Black Swan
The black swan can be found in Europe, especially Britain and it's surrounds areas, although the perfect climate is the Australian southern coastlines. Gillard was born in 1961 in Barry, Vale of Glamorgan, Wales. After she suffered from bronchopneumonia as a child, her parents were advised it would aid her recovery if they were to live in a warmer climate. The family migrated to Australia in 1966, settling in Adelaide just like the swan.

The black swan's bill is orange-red, the top is white, legs are black. The females have slightly lighter plumage coloration. Lets face it Julia has the whole red / orange thing down to a tea.

When swimming, Black Swans hold their necks arched or erect, and often carry their feathers or wings raised in an aggressive display. When our Julia is on the back foot you can often see her neck appearing to disappear at times giving the public a scary insight into her power animal attack mode.

The female Black Swan often takes the forward approach to raising its family and often denies help from its male partner after the baby is born. Julia although having a male partner, Tim Mathieson has not officially committed to him and still claims they are a just a couple of good friends in a recent newspaper. Also the swans forward approach is strong in Julia. Her actual mantra is "Together, let's move forward."

An estimated one-quarter of all pairings between black swan's are homosexual, mostly between males. They steal nests, or form temporary threesomes with females to obtain eggs, driving away the female after she lays the eggs. The female in most cases is fine with this and goes on living her normal life. Julia has gay friends, gay cabinet members and often has been the swinging vote in many decisions on gay marriage in the labour party.

Bob Brown : Giant Panda
Pandas are part of the bear family and can easily recognised by their large distinctive black patches around their eyes. Bob's eyes are very tired and often resemble his power animal's darken eyelid characteristics.

The Giant Panda's diet is 99% bamboo. Other parts of its diet include honey, eggs, fish, yams, shrub leaves, oranges, and bananas when available. Bob stands up for the conservation of forrest, for the sake of strong bamboo growth in the future possibly. Maybe. And also has a strong stance on the fishing in and around Australian waters. Bob likes most of the natural diet of a Giant Panda.

Due to farming, deforestation, and other development, the Giant Panda has been driven out of the lowland areas where it once lived. Bob has always supported the stop to deforestation all over Australia. No forest, no home for the power animal. Makes sense now Bob.

In the wild, the Giant Panda is a terrestrial animal and primarily spends its life roaming and feeding in the bamboo forests of the Qinling Mountains and in the hilly Sichuan Province. Bob Brown is often found roaming all over the country hanging out in forests. His siding with logging protest groups have seen him hanging out for days on end in the leafy matter.

Though generally alone, each adult has a defined territory and females are not tolerant of other females in their range. With so much anger between the females you can see why in 1972 Bob came out in a newspaper article and announced that he was gay. Nothing but good times when its the boys around huh Bob?

Giant Panda's are known for their misbehaviour and trickery whilst in captivity. The bears have been known to seem to play tricks on their keepers and always find themselves in trouble. Bob has been known for vocal protest campaigns, which created international headlines on 23 October 2003 when he was suspended from the parliament for interjecting during an address by the visiting President of the United States, George W. Bush. Bob is a bit of a trouble maker at times.

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